It's always the walk to the bus stop with yuexin.
The self-reflecting walk when both of us speak whatever is on our mind.
Be it good or bad.
People change, some for the better, some for the worse
However, there is no unit of measurement to guage if you have changed to the better or worse.
As for me, it's for all of you around me to judge.
We've all grown up.
Topics changed.
Mentality changed.
The things we want changed.
Without having yuexin to mention it, i wouldn't realise that conversations around us always revolve around one specific topic. A sensitive topic.
I don't know if we are getting more realistic or we aren't the easily contented selves anymore
Anyway, changes are evitable and i admit i've changed alot.
Yuexin thought so too.
She was saying that i used to be the quiet one.
One who does not show my emotions when i'm angry, irritated, happy or excited.
One who will say 'i'm okie with anything' when asked for opinions.
One who will say 'Never mind' when irritated or taken advantage of.
She said that i'm one who will project all my emotions (Xi, Nu, Ai, Le) on my face NOW.
I admit to that.
I just can't hide what i feel, what i think and what i want to say anymore.
I laugh terribly loudly, give a super unhappy face when i'm irritated, don't care about what others think of me, become very nasty when someone took me for granted and can tell one person how much i dislike or love him/her etc etc.
I've also become demanding at times. Sometimes when i want things my way, i just want it my way.
I was always taken advantage of and i will not allow that to happen anymore.
I HATE it when people took me for granted even tho i've been whole heartedly treating them well. What's the point to be nice to them then? I would have told myself, it's okie, i dun need anything in return when i'm good to them in the past. But NOW, i just can't convince myself with that. I'm too naive in the past. I've finally realised people are selfish. No, people can be selfish.
Especially after entering into SMU, I've learnt that some people aren't just simple. People can do things to get what they want, be it grades or other stuffs.
However, there are really nice ones too. E.g. my dearest Huixin, Zhirui, SQ, Jack, Mingsing +++
I've met many gentlemen in SMU, they are a bunch of gentlemenly friends.
They will offer to carry my heavy books and laptop for me even tho they are already carrying many of their own stuffs, offer to send me home etc etc
All those do not only apply to me. I'm very very sure Miss Seow and other SMU ladies received those offers too. If i were the old yeefang, i would have said 'No it's okie, i can manage on my own.' or 'Thanks for offering but you don't have to'
NOW, I thought those are what guys should do as a gentleman. Instead, I will get a little annoyed when guys do not offer to carry my laptop for me!
I'm not saying that they must do so, but at least they should offer their help if they see me carrying so many stuffs. (hinting... wahhaah~~~!!!!)
I've always told yuexin, i think i'm getting more realistic.
Is it good or bad?
Duh... I dunno... sometimes i do prefer my old self.
The naive and dumb self.
