What's the feeling of a small little girl who got seperated from her mummy in a huge shopping mall?
Scared + lost + worried + panic.
These were what I felt today.
I couldn't find my mum the whole night. She went to the clinic for surgery so she passed her hp to me. I went to meet up with piggies after accompanying her in the clinic for a short while. For the whole 6 hours, i couldn't locate her. She was supposed to be home but she was nowhere to be found even at 10.30pm. Kept calling home but she hadn't reach home. Called the clinic but no one answered (which was understandable as it closes at 9pm). It was only at 11pm when bro told me mum was on her way home. If anything had happened to her today, i would not forgive myself for not accompanying her throughout the whole night.
Got home and got the shock of my whole life. I could feel the pain for mum. I am angry with myself for not being there with her! Looking at her state now made my heart ache. My heart is really aching. I cant stop my tears so i had to hide in the bathroom till the redness on my nose faded before talking to her. She's still bleeding.
A few days ago, she brought me to buy my bday presents. She bought me a set of jewellery (necklace, ring, earrings and bracelet). She mentioned that she felt relieved after buying them for me as she is afraid that she wouldn't be around to buy me those things when i get married in the future. (you know, Chinese has the custom of buying 'si dian jin' or 'jia zhuang' for a daughter getting married). She thinks too far and too much.... I was holding back my tears when she told me that.
I really don't know how i am supposed to live without my mum, the closest person in my whole life. I really don't.
